Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever

Some favorites from how not to write metaphors

  • His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
  • He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
  • McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
  • The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
  • John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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